Diddy was on Jonathan Ross's show last night. He used to be called Puff Daddy, then P Diddy and now just Diddy. God alone knows why because his real name is Sean Combs.
I'd love to think he was Pat Combs boy and now he calls himself Diddy after the Diddy men because his godfather is Ken Dodd but I fear that is just in my twisted Carry On film-loving mind. It's as likely as Titus Bramble, the football player, being Wilfred's lad.
He was promoting a new film he's in called "Get Him to the Greek", a comedy, and I use the term loosely, about a failed rock star making a comeback and a hapless PR man has to get him to the comeback concert, via sex and drugs and rock and roll, at a venue called The Greek. All with hilarious results no doubt!
It's a "Gross Out Comedy" and is possibly my worst nightmare! It's directed by the guy who did Superbad and the failed rock star is played by Russell Brand, who come the revolution, I’d cheerfully pin up against a wall and punch repeatedly! It goes without saying I won't be going to see it, Pat Combs or no Pat Combs!
The thing, I know it's very middle England of me, but I just don't find these films funny.
"There's Something about Mary". Of course there is, she's got jizz in her hair. That's not funny; it's not even hygienic!
"Dude! Where's My Car?" - probably where you left it you halfwit! (although that movie has supplied me with my favourite film review of all time, taken from the Radio Times, "Two pot smoking idiots lose their vehicle in this witless comedy" - priceless)
And don't even get me started on American Pie! From the country that, through the sheer stupidity of one consumer, forced McDonalds to have a warning on their hot apple pies that the filling will burn your mouth, comes a film where the basic premise is that a young lad sticks his knob in a hot apple pie! And they say American's don't get irony.
I can only gain comfort from knowing that a film about having sex with an warm bakery item would've never been made in England. After all what would Mr Kipling say?