" You should go on that show."
What on earth I'd do I don't know. I can sing a bit but not well enough to go on a talent show, I can't dance and I don't play a musical instrument. I can act (not wishing to blow my own trumpet - now if I could do that I could go on) but that's not what they are looking for so I'm at a loss.
" You make people laugh you should just go on and talk and say all your old jokes and stuff"
"You mean I should just go on and bugger about?"
"Yeah that's it"
"I don't think they'd let someone go on to just bugger about"
Having watched three nights of semi-finals I stand corrected. They would! (and how you can have more than two semi-finals is a contradiction in terms but that's a whole other ball game).
They've had a man dressed as Richard the Lionheart chopping wood, a bloke jigging about as Madonna like a drunk Uncle at a wedding and a 75 year old Leprechaun in a green beard shouting "Get away it's my gold" like a, well frankly, like a lunatic.
So in short there's hope for me yet. Pass the application form please....