So as yesterday was a days of lasts today was a new start.
My first day back at work for just over a year!
The boy obediently obliged and slept through last night. I, on the other hand, did not!
I lay awake worrying and fretting in the small hours. Mind racing. Stomach churning.
I eventually got up at 6am a full hour before the boy and for some reason cleaned the kitchen sink!
I spend a whole year at home avoiding housework only to go all Aggie and Kim on myself the morning of my return to paid employment and start cleaning!
The mind is a terrible thing. I'm sure this was some sub-conscience message to the world that I really, really want to stay at home and I am a good housewife - honest!
So how did it go?
I'm on my second glass of red and second orange Kit Kat of the night!
I think that tells you all you need to know!
It wasn't awful and the boy had a lovely day with his Nanny P and Granddad G. He didn't even know I was gone. No it wasn't awful. It just wasn't me! A year is a long time and in some ways I've out grown the job and it's out grown me. For parts of the day I felt like a 14 year old on work experience. Out of my depth and not really needed.
So I can't help wishing I'd tried harder to convince myself to not go back.
But then I did try and come up with every reason and excuse in the book.
Everything but the kitchen sink it would seem.....