Thursday, 23 June 2011

The One with the Zumba!

You know how I've been bleating on about losing weight recently and getting shot of my baby belly. Well last night I took the first, Salsa like, steps to doing something about it.

I went to a Zumba class!

For those living in a box and yet to hear of this craze here's how the Zumba UK website describes it:

 Zumba® is currently one of the World's fastest growing fitness programmes.  It fuses hypnotic Latin rhythms and easy to follow moves to create a dynamic fitness program that will blow you away. Our goal is simple: We want you to want to work out, to love working out, to get hooked.

So what are you waiting for?

So what was I waiting for? After last night's work out probably an oxygen tent! 

I realised, as I drove out to the class, that this was the first time I had engaged my poor old flabby body in any sort of vigorous physical activity since before I was pregnant. There was a time, BTB, when I was reasonably fit. I played badminton twice a week, did a regular yoga class and lots of walking. Even when I was pregnant I kept up with the yoga and did aqua natal classes as well, but since the arrival of the boy I seem to have exchanged feeling the burn for feeding me biscuits!

The opportunity to try Zumba came when a colleague at work, for blog purposes to be known as Byron, said would I like to come along. So armed with a bottle of water and some old workout clothes I found in the bottom of a drawer that still mercifully fitted me, I arrived at the sports hall not quite knowing what to expect of the class or myself!

I have no co-ordination you see and in times of stress, confusion or speed I can't tell my left from my right! On the first of my three driving tests I went the wrong way twice because the instructor intimidated me so much! 

I also have a tendency to just trip up for no good reason! I have never felt so old as I did the day I slipped over in Debenhans and they wouldn't let me leave the store until a first aider had seen me. What was doubly embarrassing was I used to work there and as I lay prostrate on the floor with my shopping strewn around me people kept coming past, recognising me and stopping for a chat. Once you start having falls in public places you may as well get the blue rinse and surgical stockings out because the end is in sight!

With all this in mind and to quote Simon Callow in "Four Weddings and a Funeral", once I got on the dance floor "I feared lives may be lost"!

All day at work Ken and Barbie said the thought of me doing Zumba was hilarious! I have to say I agreed with them. Byron described it as "going to Zumba with Miranda Hart" such was the firm belief that I would either fall over, trip someone else over, knock a speaker flying or at the very least, at some point, make a complete tit of myself.

Disappointingly, for comedy purposes, I didn't do any of these things. 

What I did do however was have a great time!

I surprised myself that I could keep up with the steps and the music and yes I was red in the face, sweating and needing a drink after every song but so were most people. The hall was packed with ladies, and two very game guys, of all shapes, sizes and abilities. I was comforted to realise I wasn't the biggest girl there, nor the least co-ordinated! I did have a sense that the top half of my body wasn't talking to the lower half though because as soon as I got the leg work right my arms flailed about like a bad Kate Bush impression or if I got my arms co-ordinated my feet went on strike. 

But arms and legs were nothing to what hips, tummy and bum were doing. They were having a party all on their own. At one point we had to shimmy and then rotate our hips in a figure of 8, belly dancing style, whilst turning around. That was too much for my brain to take in and I became an over enthusiastic puppy dog trying to chase it's own tail. I was wobbling in places I'd forgotten I had and I swear my arse was still jigging up and down for a full 10 minutes after the last track had finished. 

I checked the BBC News website to make sure there wasn't a story of an earthquake in Suffolk!

At least the instructor didn't shout out complicated phrases to describe the moves, she just pointed in the direction we were supposed to go and my legs, arms and swivelling hips sort of vaguely followed her.

I must have been doing something right as today I'd lost all feeling in my legs, arms and hips and normality was only resumed after two hot baths and a large G&T!

Apparently Zumba is Spanish slang for "to move fast and have fun". I have some British slang terms for it too now but I'm too much of a lady to put them on here!

I'm going next week though and not just because it's an excuse to have a relaxing bath and a gin when I get home....


  1. This is your best post yet, very funny!

  2. Thank you R. It was certainly a laugh as well as a good workout. I'm hoping to shift some pounds and find fresh comedy from the classes each week!
    I have a feeling it has potential.