The boy had had his first proper illnesses since he arrived!
It's not been pleasant!
Let me explain first that I am petrified of people being sick (I'm not keen if i do it myself but I can just about cope) but anyone else and I'm out of here. It's a proper phobia and has on occasions stopped me doing things or staying in situations where I feel vulnerable (like out and about after the pubs have closed for example). I manage but it's sometimes hard for hubby to understand being a big old rough, tough, hulk of a fella who doesn't flinch at such things.
I was concerned when I knew I was becoming a mum about how I'd cope when the inevitable sickness struck. I was always worried I'd be rubbish at looking after him and what if instinct didn't kick in and what if it wasn't "different when it's your own flesh and blood"?
On Sunday afternoon I found out!
The boy went down for his nap after lunch, seemingly with not a care in his baby world. When he woke up, 2 and a 1/4 hours later (the length of nap being most out of the ordinary and really I should've been alerted to what might happen next by it) he was grisly, pale and out of sorts.
Nanny P and Granddad G had arrived for a cuppa by this point and the boy smiled bravely at them but I could tell something was up.
What was "up" was the milk he'd downed moments earlier, plus most of his lunch, all over me and Granddad G!
As I've said before the boy is not a sickly baby, for which I am grateful, so this was a rite of mummy passage to be projectile vomited on with such force. Twice!
My concern was completely for my boy. We cleaned him up then hubby took him for cuddles and bed while I stripped off the sick clothes, put on a dressing gown and bunged everything in the wash. I didn't flinch. I didn't care about me. I was just worried about my darling boy, all poorly sick and listless lying on his Dad's lap sleeping again.
Maybe it's a bit silly but I was proud of myself. He's never been properly ill before, not like this so I didn't know how I'd cope until now.
The thing is I coped.
I know so many of you all do cope all the time and don't think a thing of it but for me this was a big thing.
On Sunday I didn't think about my phobia, or flashbacks, or reoccurring dreams or any of the usual problems I encounter if someone is sick.
On Sunday I became a mum!