Thursday, 13 January 2011

The One with the Sample!

So I promised you tales of why the lead up to Christmas was so fraught!

Here's the first one. The story of the stool sample!

Are you sitting comfortably? Then I shall begin....

The boy had a cough and a slight cold but then he developed what we charmingly call round these parts "the squits". They didn't seem to be getting any better and when high temperatures and nasty nappy rash accompanied them I took him to the doctors.

Now I must explain that at this point the boy and myself had been staying with Nanny P and Granddad G for 3 days as hubby had developed a near fatal case of man flu (to be fair he was quite poorly and he doesn't make too much fuss) but as we live in a small house the chances of one or both of us catching it was quite high.  So as a result we had to see the doctors out where Nanny P lives and get the lad in as a temporary resident.

The doctor prescribed some cream for the boys bum and asked for a stool sample. Standard procedure.

Hubby felt better and missing us terribly came to pick us up that night.

Could the stool sample go to our home practice perhaps?

Next day I phoned them!

It couldn't!

So we were going to have to dash all the way out to the little country surgery, that only opened at odd times, near my Mum's.

Gives a whole new meaning to the expression bum's rush but never mind!

Hubby had the sample with him and was about to depart when the boys temperature shot up again. He was listless, out of sorts and had hardly eaten anything all day. I phoned the duty doctor.  She suggested cool flannels and Calpol. She also said it was ridiculous what the receptionist had told me that morning, of course the sample could go to them. She booked us an appointment to see a doctor the next day, bring the sample in she said and have them mark it for her attention. Lucky we didn't make a wasted journey!


Or so I thought!

We duly went to see the doctor at 9.15am on Christmas Eve and he checked the boy over again. Nothing  on his chest, we were doing the right things for the temperatures and the cream was clearing up the rash. However the diarrhoea was obviously still an issue so maybe we should consider trying out a Soya based or lactose free formula. Sainsburys sell it he assured us.

Hubby, who had been carrying our son's poo about in this pocket for the last 24 hours desperately trying to give it to someone, presented the small sterilised container to the doctor and explained what his colleague had told us.

"Oh no they don't take stool samples from here. Only blood and urine. The courier won't collect them. You'll have to take that directly to the hospital."

I was losing patience now. I mean I know it was sh*t but we couldn't even give it away!

So, and it's Christmas Eve remember, off we trudge to the supermarket to fight the crowds of last minute shoppers buying satsumas they won't eat and sprouts nobody likes, to purchase the only one they had, SMA Wysoy at 9 pound a pop! All the while horribly aware that as we were paying hubby still had the boys poo in his pocket!

Merry Squitmas everyone!

Then off home, via the hospital to finally drop off the droppings!

So in conclusion?

The boy turned his nose up at the Soya milk which he didn't need  anyway as the results came back as no further action to be taken. Probably just teething or a by product of a virus.

All normal.

Which is more than can be said for trying to give them the stuff to test in the first place!

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