Not just any old seven year old. Specifically a seven year old boy!
And if Lemon Cake Lady is to be believed I'm giving myself undue credit by saying seven. My mind is akin to a four year old really.
Stupid stuff. Silly puns. Flippancy. Rude things. Trumps, willies and bums. They all make me laugh.
Sophisticated aren't I?
I've had a tough week so last night, over at Lemon Cake Lady's house, we had a couple of cheeky wines, a perfect pizza and a pile of Pecan Tassies. Making tassies involves pastry. Where there's a bit of spare pastry, some nimble fingers and my keen and mature comedy mind, there's always an opportunity for a bit of ..ahem, ahem.. "model making".
There was a picture but Hubby has strictly forbade me from putting it on here. He says you must all think I'm weird enough already without posting pictures of pastry penises!
After my foray into Henry Moore sculpture, we got a free, "shoved through your door", Christmas catalogue out and, for want of a more delicate expression, took the piss!
Now I love a bit of Christmas tat but this was on a whole new level! It was all, without exception, what LCL and I would call "handcrafted", which is our code for absolute tut!
There was a "Delicacy Tree", which is like a mini cupcake stand for sweets!
I was thinking of getting one and putting a raisin on each dish and watching the boys face go "Mum - have you gone mad?"
There was a shallow bowl for fruit, sweets or nuts
It looks perfectly innocuous but it has a compartment for batteries in the bottom and when you switch it on, it lights up and changes colour from red to green to blue.
I'm thinking of getting Hubby one for the festive season as I'm sure he's always wanted to light his nuts up for Christmas!
What I love about this was in the text underneath, it made a point of saying "For cold food only"!
It's glass and battery powered. Are you sure I can't put it in the oven? I've always dreamt of illuminating my Shepherds pie!
Then as a piste de resistance we discovered something no home should be without this Christmas!
A Santa bottle topper!
I rest my case!
And do you know what's really sad?
I want to order them all!
Because as tacky as they are - I love them!