I'm not myself at the moment!
Who I am, seems to be question most mothers are asking themselves at this stage, judging by the conversations I've been having with my NCT girlfriends. We are all at a loss personally. Feeling tired and lacking a sense of "ourselves" and what we used to be.
Maybe it's that old thing that we have stopped being seen as us and we're now "just Mum"?
So I don't know if 8 months is a typical watershed, or it's the onslaught of Winter and darker days, or the prospect of a very wonderful, but very different Christmas approaching or what it is?
But I am not myself!
If my dear Nana was alive today she'd tell me I needed a "tonic". And she didn't mean the stuff Schweppes sell!
It seems to me to be a parenting paradox that just as this Mum needs to find herself and a little of her independence back, the boy is becoming clingy, and a little whingy and has the screaming ab- dabs when I leave the room!
In some ways it's amazing to be wanted. When he puts his arms up for a cuddle, or gives me that first smile of the day I melt. I truly do. I wish I could bottle that rush of emotion and keep it for when he's moaning and frustrated and I'm on the edge. Like an elixir of love to keep me going.
So really the boy is the tonic my Nana would've prescribed.
Only when he's laughing though....
I've just made a cake for a friend. That has lifted my spirits somewhat.
ReplyDeleteDon't worry...it IS normal. This is the biggest change you have faced or will face again in your life. The important thing is to realise that becoming a Mum doesnt't take away anything from you...it Adds to you, making you even more special. Huggs x
ReplyDeletePS The clinginess is normal part of development for 8 months and will pass too. At 15 years...they rarely want a hug LOL
I really struggled with trying to find the "old me" for a long time (sometimes I still do) but then a friend who has an older child told me something that helped me think of things a different way. She said....
ReplyDelete"There are parts of the old you that will be with you forever, but there are parts that you have to say goodbye to so that you can make room for the new you!"
It will get better. I promise. Baby boy will grow and you'll get more time to find your new rocking-rolling-multi-tasking-womanly new self :)