We are still
having a daily struggle with the boy and his reading. He loves books and he
loves stories, but the moment you sit him down to do his reading from school
it’s like you’re torturing him.
His ‘mark
making’- which is bloody stupid trendy talk for writing- is getting much
better. Currently it’s all about drawing pirate treasure maps, with X marks the
spot, so that’s one letter he can do.
But the reading
isn’t going anywhere. Granted the reading books from school are piss boring, but
he’s not even trying. There’s only so much ‘Sam has the nut. The Nut is up the
tree. Sam goes up to the nut’ that I can stand, so no wonder the boy buggers
about rather than read that lot.
So on the
advice of other Mums I’ve started trying to engage him in looking at letters
and words in everyday life; cereal boxes, signs, shopping lists, DVD covers
and captions on the TV.
So last week,
when the snooker was on, I pointed out the player’s names to the boy on the
screen. This didn’t inspire any interest in him until Judd Trump was playing.
Now someone on
the telly called ‘Trump’ is the height of sophisticated comedy to a 5-year-old
boy.
‘Those players
are called Ding and Trump’ I explained
‘Trump?’ the
boy said with his eyes wide with wonder. ‘Trump?’
‘Yes. His name
is Judd Trump.’
‘Trump’ he was
really laughing now ‘Mr Trump’.
‘Yes Mr Ding is
playing Mr Trump’
He was rolling around on the sofa now holding his sides.
‘Ding and
Trump’
Hysterical.
He went over to
the TV screen and pointed to the name ‘Does that say Trump then?” he asked
I joined him
and sounded out the letters as I ran my finger along them. Luckily Ding and
Trump sound out beautifully and aren’t ‘tricky words’ - which is bloody stupid trendy talk for words whose letter sounds don't then sound like the word when they're 'blended' - which is bloody stupid trendy talk for using the letter sounds to read the word.
He was still
giggling about it all when he went to bed about half an hour later.
So this got me
thinking. Maybe the only way to get the boy interested in phonics – which is bloody
stupid trendy talk for learning your letters – is to teach him rude words.
Not really bad
rude words. Not your four letter eff’s and jeffs. Just some mild schoolboy stuff. After all his main
vocabulary currently consists of not just trump but bum, poo, wee, winky, boobies, stinky, smelly and pants, so why don’t we
write them down and sound them out? We could spend a pleasant afternoon
together trying to ‘blend’, stinky, bum and poo.
Yes I’m that
desperate for him to read.
Shall I call social
services or do you want to do it?
